I thought I was a busy person before having a baby, but in reality I had no idea. Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed by it all, and today was one of those days.
I’ve recently returned to work and the organisation required is on a whole other level. In fairness I’m still getting used to it and could streamline a little, but in essence my mornings at the moment go like this:
Up (about 7.15am), change nappy, bottle, shower, get dressed, downstairs for Millie’s breakfast, provide finger food so I can put a wash on, pack my bag, brush hair and swipe mascara on while she’s playing with the toast, then back up to dress her. Out the door to walk the dog (8.10am by now), then drive to nursery and wait for train gates, detour around road works, drop Millie off – she cried – and get back in traffic to get to work (9.30am).
As well as coordinating all this I’m mentally checking what day it is, what she’s got to eat for after nursery, who’s got the dog while the husband sleeps off a night shift, what messages I need to send to various people and what I’ve got on at work.
It’s bloody exhausting and sometimes my brain just shuts off. I don’t want to engage with anyone, could cry at any moment and just want to eat. So I mostly focus on that, and laying in the bath for an hour after Millie’s in bed.
I’m worrying about everyone else all the time, and giving everything and everyone less than they deserve in trying to keep all the plates spinning but what can you do? Find coping strategies, like indulging your self pity, until it passes.
Today I also craved Millie herself quite a lot. Seeing her was all I wanted and I got a precious 50 minutes after work to play with her. It’s a good job she’s so delicious ❤️